I miss you !!!

Lately, I thought about my cousin !!! Now, I'm starting to believe that she die and This is not easy. I was listening a song from Hawk Nelson (Christian Band) and speak about this feelings. I'll put here a part from song "Hawk Nelson - I still miss you":

"But I still miss you
All the times we spent together
To hear you talk about the weather
I always prayed you'd get well soon
I wish my prayers came true
I know Jesus has the answer
And He's way bigger than the cancer in you
But I still miss you

I need some help to carry on
I need some strength to keep me strong..."

I miss you so much my beloved cousin (Cris). I love youuu... I'll never forget you.... I'm so sad with this situation... Sad Week.... Last day 29 was Birthday from her.... and I'm not good. I miss her (in portuguese there is a word for this feelings is "saudade" is most deeper than "miss you"). I'm with saudade of you.
With this situation I figure out that I put my feelings in songs... Whatever.... When I'm listening songs Sad (I'm depression), When I'm listening many HardCore (I'm angry with some situation - as now), When I'm listening songs of Revival (My spiritual life is high)... and more. I don't know if this is bad or good but is a mode to me express my feelings.

Then, I was at bus going to class and I take a decision... I'll start to draw (sketch)... Yeah !! Drawing Landscapes... Because I'm starting with Design 3D and I wanna model many landscapes but I also want to have something on paper. I confess that I'm not very good about it but I'll try. And Coming Soon I'll put here my first modeling okay...

I need some place to express my feelings.... lol